Varalakshmi Pooja for the well being of the family

My first varalakshmi pooja in a place other than Chennai just got over and am yet to recover fully .. The pooja per se, takes only about an hour but involves elaborate preparation like maakolam, ambal alangaram, neivedhyam (a full spread with kozhukattai, sundal, chakkara pongal, vadai, pachcharisi idli, appam ..), vethalai paakku thamboolam distribution etc which keeps u busy for a couple of days before the pooja apart from the pooja day itself.. Staying away from singara Chennai has many limitations, one of which is u don’t get family assistance during big poojas like this.. I remember doing varalakshmi pooja in Chennai when my entire family would pitch in to assist in the preparation.. Here am all by myself and forget the actual effort, it’s a big task to find out what is available where (Please don’t think that am living in some remote foreign location, am still in India .. thank god for little mercies!!) .. Thankfully am part of a tamizh social networking group so there are mamis who don’t have pooja in their house and one such nice mami offered to help.. And that’s how I started the preparation for my first ever varalakshmi pooja outside home ..

We set out couple of days before the pooja to buy poo, vaazhai elai etc to avoid the festival rush.. Incidentally v. pooja is a big enough festival in the city where I stay, so, going to the market the day before needed a lot of courage.. So v decided to go one day ahead trusting our refrigerators and hoping there won’t be too many power cuts.. Nice mami was coming only to help me buy whatever I needed ..but there was this other mami who also decided to come with us and she had pooja at home .. And there started the race..

First v bought poo.. It was very expensive as expected but since it is an important pooja and I was absolutely overwhelmed that so much poo was available in one place to buy, I started buying in bulk.. This other mami (for convenience lets call her J) slowly asked “why do u need so much udiri poo?” I was surprised at the question but nevertheless replied innocently.. “Am seeing some much poo together for the first time here.. so I just want to do the pooja nicely”.. She was very silent for a while.. Next v bought vethalai.. And J was again at it.. “ivlo vethalai yedhukku?.. neraya paera kooptrukkiyaa?” with special emphasis on “neraya”.. I didn’t realize she was testing the waters again and I patiently replied “Illa mami.. I can’t go out again to buy, in case it gets over .. so I normally buy more ..” .. Next it was the turn of vazhai elai.. I said I need five.. And J goes again.. “yedhukku anju ??”.. I had invited a couple of people for lunch.. These people were also known to her but I was not sure if they wud be visiting her as well.. So not wanting to get into the tangle of community politics, I gave some evasive reply but wondered why she was so inquisitive.. And the shopping expedition got over after many such interesting episodes.. Nice mami was a mute spectator through it all..

Nice mami came home later to help me with maakolam, ambal alangaram etc and mentioned that J told her to invite all the people coming to my house for pooja to her house as well.. Now it was getting a bit complex.. I said “But she may not know all of them” .. but did not have the time to progress on that conversation .. Pooja day arrived and after a frenzy of activity starting at 3 AM for making the big list of neiveidhyams, the actual pooja started at 9 and finished by 10:30.. J called at 11 to check if the pooja is over and whether she can come over for thamboolam.. She had originally told she would come in the afternoon.. I was happy though, since it is a good sagunam to have somebody coming home immediately after the pooja so I readily agreed.. Then there were a lot of others who came home and I was finally able to visit her house only after 9 at night.. Her ambal alangaram was very nice and she had put serial lights and the whole place was very well decorated.. I told her so and on my way back I happened to meet nice mami.. I innocently told her that J’s alangaram was very nice.. “serial lights yellam kooda potturukka..”.. Nice mami calmly said “serial light innikku madhyaanam dhaan poatta”.. I was amazed.. “After the pooja?? Why??”.. Nice mami just smiled..

And then it dawned on me.. finally!! All along it had been a race.. from the time of buying udhiri poo, she had always wanted to be better than me.. The purpose of coming to my house for thamboolam immediately after the pooja was to check how my decoration was so she can do something better.. First I thought it was silly.. there was no need to compete… It is a pooja after all, and u just have to do whatever u are supposed to do .. Then thinking about it more deeply, I realized, all poojas and festivals are meant to get people to socialize and there is probably an underlying sense of competition .. albeit unknowingly.. especially when u live away from home, this sense of community is heightened and it is just the manifestation of the need to be popular in your community in an alien place.. Thinking along, varalakshmi pooja is not celebrated by all tamizh people.. only tam brahm iyers and that too a select few have this festival.. If it is like this for v pooja, I was wondering what it was going to be like during navarathri.. And suddenly I realized that for a moment I had considered myself as part of the playing field!!

Ha, who said being popular in the community does not contribute to family well being??